No-Go

I would say based off the fact that I have been really emotional today (Lots of crying) over the fact that my husband had to wok very late, that I am probably not pregnant. Preparing to welcome yet another 3 days of discomfort and sweets cravings has me feeling even more upset.

It's not like we're trying to get pregnant.... I just always sike myself up, hoping that I can take a test and see that little + sign. Instead I know that for another month, God's will tells me it is not yet time. I'll be honest: I really want to be a mother (if you couldn't already tell) and have no patience when it comes to waiting for my husband to "be ready." It's very hard, just sitting here with no idea of when he will come to me and tell me that now it's time. It could be 6 months, it could be 2 years. It's just so hard to fight my own sinful nature of wanting everything now, to want it even though my husband says no. It is a struggle I will wrestle with for a while, until it can learn to trust God and His will, while also trusting my husband to lead us.

So for now I will stave off the feeling of disappointment and deprive myself the "need" for chocolate while I wait for Aunt Flo. I just wanted to share with you these struggles I'm having.